Today I decided to figure out how to make our blog popular. All that means to me is this: one- receive comments on our posts from someone who is not one of the shady friends and two- get more followers (should be easy considering we have one follower- and that is us!). Let me start by saying that I have nothing more to add on this topic. The rest of this posting is about me- as always!
In my quest to make our blog more popular, I went to Salon.com to check out the blogs posted there. I was hoping to get some quick tips. Why Salon.com? Because in this movie I saw last weekend- Julie&Julia- the title character writes about her cooking challenge in a Salon.com blog and obviously- that worked out for her- since I saw the movie! So I go to the site and get distracted. I start reading a posting in their "Dear Cary" column titled "I chase unavailable men". I mean- that title resonated with me so much- I couldn't help myself. The answer from Cary was rather vague and uninteresting to me but the comments were more enlightening.
One of the commenters said that she had been there herself. She chased men she could not have until she realized one day that she had really been chasing her need for more attention and love from her emotionally distant mother. Her advice to the writer was to figure out what she was lacking from whom and to make her peace with that situation. It didn't take me long to figure out that I am still hurting from my break-up. After all, I spent the last two years chasing the love and attention of the man I was already in love with. The reality was that the first couple of years were spent in a state of uncertainty as well. Just as I had started to get used to being in a secure, committed relationship, the drama started all over again. I am surprised I even want to have another man in my life. This cynicism has been my security blanket and it has served me well. If knowing is half the battle, then I have made some progress today. I want validation from someone else whom I cannot have. Of course, this is not news to me. I recognized this issue within months of the break-up, but if you had asked me this morning, I would have been so sure that I had healed. Apparently, I am going to have to work on that again.
The other comment that hit home was one that talked about the writer's experience with this guy she had met through work. She had felt a connection with him but had later learnt that he was unavailable for whatever reason. But she was persistent- the next time she met him- she started scoping him out again. So the commenter called her out on her stalker-ish behavior and sympathized with the man. Oh boy, have I been there! And it just makes me feel so small, I want to crawl under the bed and stay there forever. I hope I learn from this awful mea culpa! Note to self: when someone says no- just say good luck and walk away. The world does work in black and white when it comes to the things that matter.
To my anonymous reader: If you have something to say: please leave a comment.
Dora... Out... Woof
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