Letting go

Hi, I am Dora and this is my first Shady Friends blog entry.

Yesterday we had our annual Halloween event at work. Stewie, Garfield and I had signed up for a build-a-bear workshop- okay so we were 25 years older than the rest of the people on the roster (no need to judge!)- we simply wanted to have some fun. Well- we never did get to build our pirate bear because of a sign-in mishap.. but we did make up for it by getting a psychic reading. And that brings me to the main part of the blog...

My psychic reading included a "you're a little bit of a control freak" and a "when men approach you- you keep them at a distance and that frustrates them". I usually shrug these readings off- but something hit home last night. Not losing control of my emotions is a big deal for me- it does not come naturally to me and I have spent years of my life training myself to get to where I am today. Not being dependent on others is a huge part of my identity. And now I am being told my studied restraint could also be my emotional Achilles' heel? 

The reality is that the psychic wasn't the first person to hint at this. My friends have mentioned this in passing on various occasions and I've always nodded and accepted the fact- maybe I was even a little proud of it. But it's been a nuisance in my head for the past few months at least.. I have heard my inner voice coaxing me periodically to break-away from my habits. And like every separation, I have been through the steps of denial, frustration, anger and sadness. Maybe it is time to take action? 

So last night- I tested myself. I let Stewie buy me a bottle of water without offering to pay for it. (Yes folks- THAT is how bad I am). And it wasn't so awful. Maybe I will try it again- soon?!